What We Get From Eliot

What We Get From Eliot

We are at a turning point– in so many ways– at Eliot Unitarian Chapel. We have a new, coherent administrative staff. We have new energy in our music program. We are standing by our faith in restoring our historic stone chapel. And our children’s religious education program continues to grow. Six years ago, when Rev. Bonnie and I first got here, the RE registration was a little over 250. Now it is over 300, a 20% increase. To accommodate further growth, we will eventually have to gut the old RE wing and put something else up. But that is an issue for another day.

We are undergoing another staffing transition in our children’s RE program. As part of that effort, meetings have been held, surveys collected, conversations started. Some of the initial results are in– results about how people feel about their Eliot experience.

Three questions, in particular, struck me as particularly interesting. The comments we got were thought provoking too. Below are the 3 questions, and a sampling of responses, some edited for length.

In what ways have you and your family gotten what you hoped for from Eliot?

1. We have met a group of friends with young children that are a constant support. We have Sunday services with messages that relate to our daily lives and ministers who give 100% to support the greater Eliot community. Eliot support staff are hard working and very supportive.
2. My kids and I have found a lot of friends and they are learning respect for many religious and spiritual traditions. Also, I have found a congregation that gives voice to my spiritual beliefs.
3. I feel like I have a spiritual community of people that share many of my values, though not all and that’s a good thing. I feel spiritual leadership from Daniel and Bonnie and support from them in a personal way. I think having a ‘third’ place’ has truly enriched our family life– creating a sense of belonging in a larger community.
4. I could write a book about how my children have a healthy, balanced understanding of faith and religion that they have received from Eliot’s RE program, which is really the Eliot members and friends that have taught my children.
5. We found a place [our daughter] can learn more about the different religious traditions than we could have shared. And in the process found out that we had a hole in our lives as well that Eliot has filled. It’s amazing to find out you were UU all along and just didn’t know it.
6. I like the way the kids are exposed to a wide variety of religious traditions, and the seven principles. I like that they can see that you can live a moral, meaningful life without having to buy into a rigid set of religious beliefs. Things that come up at church often serve as a springboard for discussions at home. The kids have friends who are very religious, and I like that their experience at Eliot gives them their own religion and they are not interested in getting involved with their friends' religion. They are respectful of others' beliefs, but they identify as UUs.
7. I feel like there is definitely a place for us at Eliot Chapel. We feel very integrated into the RE community in particular. I also feel like I'm challenged to live my values in a way that I wasn't before, but always felt was important.
8. My children now feel our beliefs are part of something larger than ourselves. My daughter couldn't understand why we didn't attend a church when all of her friends did. When we found Eliot we were in shock that there was a place for us in the organized religion world.

In what ways have you and your family not gotten what you hoped for from Eliot?

1. I wish influences beyond Jewish and Christian traditions could be utilized for teaching and learning during services and beyond. I want my children to be exposed to many perspectives.
2. I haven’t connected deeply with anyone. I have a lot of buddies, but no friends.
3. I would like to see, hear, feel more about social justice and community activism and how world religions, including Christianity instruct us in this way.
4. I would really like more traditional spirituality, more Jewish and Christian focus.
5. I think the spiritual leadership is excellent; however, I sometimes feel short-changed when we don’t get the real leaders. Both Dan and Bonnie are excellent, but the assistant/ interns have left a lot to be desired. In addition, the lay support often wears, suggests, and speaks their social agenda. I usually check the calendar to see who is ‘playing’ before we decide to go or not.
6. Little attention paid to Unitarian Christian roots.
7. Making more friends and family connections (due to our lack of attendance).
8. Sometimes Sunday morning can actually be too hectic with the Chalice Choir, teaching, donuts, special services, forms to fill out, etc. We could of course, just choose to do less, but they are ALL things we want to do ;-)

In what ways have you and your family gotten more than you expected from Eliot?

1. We have found the people that attend Eliot to be accepting and friendly. I appreciate the ministers are willing to listen to ideas/suggestions are promote a community that strives for decency in their thoughts and actions.
2. The more we give and participate, the more we get that feeling of belonging.
3. I think we are surprised by how many people are at Eliot who seem to genuinely care about us and our well-being- and vice versa. We came looking for spiritual guidance and ended up with a place that feels like home.
4. I am slowly repairing my very broken relationship with God and enjoying my personal spiritual journey.
5. I got more than I expected to (services and sermons, etc), when I first started coming for the kids.
6. I never could have expected to feel so much a part of things so easily. We spent several years searching for our spiritual home and we felt almost instantly that we were more than just welcomed, but integrated almost seamlessly.
7. I am so impressed by all the ways that parents and kids can be involved. From chalice choir to service projects.
8. Met so many more wonderful people than I ever thought. Taking my kids to Bergfried has been an unexpected treat.

The good news is that, for the most part, Eliot folk are making connections, living out their faith, and finding hope and courage to act for social justice. Of course, there are the obstacles of time and follow through, but the range of responses is heartening and a good reminder of what we’re about, and what we might do better.

Here’s hoping you find some peace and joy in the beginning of winter.